Thoughts from the Soul: September 2020

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Time

As time departs,

It slips inbetween the cracks

Slipping from our grasp

Where will this moment go today?

Names...

Names on the shelf

Complied, labled and placed

Some we cherish

Placing them in our hearts

Others we discard without regard

Names on the shelf

Each bringing forth a memory

Some we caress and cling to

Placing and reserving that special place

Others we run and hide from

Where is your name on my shelf?

What memories does your name impart?

Oh names of life we place on a shelf…

Monday, September 14, 2020

A Mask I Wear

We dawn this mask upon our face

Blue to pink, maybe green

We find designs to complete the look

Ways to endure a mask upon the face

Yet here I sit understanding dawning

Did we not already wear a mask of our own?

Before this mask covered my face

I made a point of smiling large

I'd look to you, and to you

As you walked on by I'd smile and nod

Yet as large as that smile was

Did you not see the effort it took?

This mask of colors and designs

Is meant to help protect and support

We contribute to society

Vowing to follow this new guideline

Yet I find my foundation is now mute

Did I not realize that my smile was healing?

I wear so many masks

The mask I wear for guidelines

The mask I wear for strength

Then the mask of confidence

Yet I find now as I hide behind a mask

I have discovered I struggle to pretend within.

Alone

You walk beside me

You laugh aloud

We laugh together

Taking pleasure in the company around

Then you go

Then I go

We separate at the door

I find my joy is no more

I laughed among the group

My emotions following suit

I believing I had found my joy

Yet here I sit in despair

I find that my joy and laughter there

is tied and connected to those about

Yet when alone I determine the truth

I have no joy to hold dear

I walk this place day in and day out

I put forth the work

I challenge myself to do more

Yet at the end of the day I find I am alone.

The Precipice

When you find your self alone

standing on that precipice

you walk to that edge

glancing forward

glancing back

you stare into the unknown

fear tingling down your spine

you look back into that past

the memories leaking down your face

who are you today?

Who will you become tomorrow?

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Anger

Anger...

You gesture and point

you yell and your scream

you take a breath to begin again

Please lower your hands

please quiet your tone

please stop to take a breath

When you gesture and point

I want to take a stand

When you yell and scream

I want to match your volume

When you take that breath

I attempt to make you understand

Dont you see I am trying?

Dont you wish to understand?

You condemn and judge

you create that mental list

you showcase all my wrongs

Please take time to understand

please know that I am much more

please dont look at just my flaws

When you condemn and judge

I feel the confusion build within

When you create your mental list

I dont see it like you do

When you focus on all wrongs

I feel my positives ebb away

Dont you know I am much more?

Dont you see what I do?

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Voice of the Silent

As a child I lost my voice

I lost the ability to articulate that sound

from fear, confusion or misdirection

I as a child could not speak

I spoke to those I held dear at heart

I told them stories loud and clear

Yet at school my voice couldn't be heard

Too quiet my mother was told

Too silent and absent minded

Yet inside my voice screamed out

I wanted to be heard

Yet year after year I knew not how

Somewhere along the path of life

I like my voice too disappeared

I slipped into that background

Into a place that did yet did not exist.

Who was I? Where was my voice?

Grief

I feel my body shutter

as each breath comes in and out

I feel my heart beat raceing

as it attempt to match the beat

I hear the beating sounds

that rush inside my mind

I cant hear the sobs

that rock my body to and fro

Sunday, September 6, 2020

My Place

I'm a puzzle piece floating about

laying here and there twisted about

you place me here, then there

you then insist I dont belong

removing me from here to place me there

you twirl me about to try and make me fit

you push and shove me into place

only to bite your lip, shake your head

then once again I find I dont belong

you pick me up, to twist me about

you move me from here to there

I find that I am dizzy and crazy along this path

Oh why can I not fit?

Oh why did I not belong?

I lay here abandoned as you move other piece about

I watch, I observe you setting them into place

Why do they have a place?

Why do they fit where I could not?

You come back to me once again

with great concern I struggle in your grasp

I dont want to be set where I dont belong

You hold me in your hand as you look about the puzzle

you then exclaim "I see" and you set me in my place

I find that I fit

I find that I too have a place

Thursday, September 3, 2020

The Looking Glass . . .

The Looking Glass. . .

We look into this looking glass...
expecting something of flawless design.
expecting something craved to perfection.

We look into that looking glass...
only to find bitter disappointments.
only to see that perfection didn't exist.

We run from that looking glass...
full of anger and spite.
full of justifiable condemnation.

We talk about that looking glass...
spreading what we find as truth.
spreading that it was too flawed for our designs.

We seek out a new looking glass...
determined to find a flawless design.
determined to find it carved to perfection.

We seek to look into that new looking glass...
believing it will bring us no disappointments
believing that our perfection will exists within.

We try to find that looking glass...
hoping it will chase away the bitterness
hoping it will be above reproach

We talk about this looking glass...
spreading the ideal we know to be truth.
spreading the ideal of that flawless, perfect design.

Then we discover something horrifying...
We see the truths we hide from
to busy looking into a perfect design

Then we come to realize the truth of it all...
we chased that flawless design
knowing we knew best.

Then we are shown our reality...
that imperfect design is built
built upon a rocky yet solidifying ground

We realize our flaw...
that design we saw as a flaw
amounted to more then we could have dreamed.

You & I

You stood in the shadows

that dark smokey night

You stood beside me

laughing and communicating

I watched you from the firelight

that dark smokey night

I watched you speak of life

from battle fields to farmer fields

You didnt like that it ended so quickly

the night soon came to its close

You didnt want to say goodnight

afraid to lose that which you couldnt name

I knew that you were something unique

as the night came to a close

I knew that we would meet again

as feelings of mystery filled my soul

You reached out to communicate

hoping to discover it

You reached out into the unknown

trying to understand

I responded to your attempts

not understanding what we would design

I responded to your puzzle

I too trying to understand.

You asked for my hand

getting down on one knee

You asked for my future

as you gave me your heart

I said yes to your hand

already having created a design

I said "I do" to start our future

in this my heart was yours